The Phantom Phallus
(A Review of The Princess and the Penis by R J Silver)
Yes, you’ve read that right!
And your eyes are not playing tricks on you.
Mind you, don’t also get easily fooled into thinking that this one’s a children’s book — as if the title ain’t made that plain enough from the word go.
Bone tired of reading those gahd deymn classics your English teacher’s been shoving down your throat at the start of the school year?
In need of a break from those pretentious complex novels with its complex characters and complex highfalutin words that shot you back and forth referring to the dictionary every few pages or so?
Searching for a break from those sappy chic lits and their sparkling critters in their ho-hum love triangle which by the middle part of the book you’ll already figure out who will end up with who?
Then I tell you this e-book is just the right thing for you! Believe me and see for yourself.
Lest you accuse me of spilling the beans early on and being a downright party pooper, here’s a general description of the e-book to arouse your curiosity courtesy of Goodreads:
A beautiful, chaste, and completely naive princess encounters a strange lump in her mattress. The lump soon morphs into a shape familiar to everyone but her, triggering her curiosity and her father’s greatest fears. He frantically tries to intervene, but having a large phantom phallus in a curious maiden’s bed is never a good combination.
I’ve been seeing this floating around and being recommended by Goodreads friends to each other, so seeing no harm in it, I plunged on and downloaded it. I swear it was one of the most worthwhile 15 minute laugh-out-loud moments of my entire friggin’ life!
The Princess and the Penis is just a short, quick read and I bet you can even read it faster than I did tops. A fairy tale in every sense of the word, complete with a King, Queen, well of course the Princess, loquacious and randy Aunts, dutiful soldiers, and a feud between princes with the mandatory sword fight (and then some!) and a member (pun intended! ) of epic proportions, you’ll practically fall down to your knees, rolling on the floor laughing you ass off with this romp of a read.
R J Silver is one swell guy to ever come up with this and no matter how prude or snub you are, and how you think all of it is just plain ridiculous, (Really no one friggin’ cares, so get back to reading your NY Times Bestsellers, Pulitzers and what not. Dick! ) he certainly gets away with it. Everything plops into place from beginning up to the resolution of the mystery or curse in the radition of The Frog Prince is nothing short of clever — and titillating, if you will.
Sure thing, this is not the greatest, flawlessly written story you’ll ever encounter in the whole of your reading life and as can be expected from the thrust of fairy tale storytelling a “Happily Ever After” is not too long in coming. However, if you’re looking for something new to read, something to break the spell of stressful and even boring days, or just feeling lonely, alone and gone tired of caressing your pet pussycat while watching dreadful TV shows, or just looking for something fun (yet dirty in a way, hah hah! ) then I say The Princess and Penis is right up your alley.
What’s delightful is good things in life comes from free so you go on right ahead to Smashwords to download the e-book. And for good measure please do share the fun with others. There’s a good chap there!
Like reading The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, I consider this experience as another exercise, a frolic in absurdist comedy fiction and I think this a good addition to the swelling genre called dick lit which, frankly, is not a bad consideration at all, eh? Certainly, it’s a memorable 2011 read for me and will make convince you that in the end the penis get its way and always trumps them all.
It’s a Wonderful BookWorld